Sookio

As a fan of the silly wording you find on toiletries and food packaging, I was grateful to Tetleys for popping a free sample of their new Green Tea With Lemon through my letterbox today.

As hydrating as water and, like fruit and veg, is naturally rich in antioxidants.

Let’s ignore the bit about it being as hydrating as water; of course it is because herbal tea is made almost entirely from water. Let’s overlook the bit about antioxidants because I have a Ben Goldacre-style suspicion about this word and think it’s not to be trusted.

Let’s think instead about the funny little comparison they draw between tea and fruit and veg. It’s like saying:

Bikes go fairly quickly, and, like cars, they have wheels.

Or jelly can be orange, and, like a jigsaw, comes in a box.

Or the vuvuzela is as loud as an elephant, and, like Vampire Weekend, makes a terrible noise.

Still, the tea tastes lovely and comes with these ingenious strings which, when pulled tight after brewing, make the teabag look like a wet owl pellet. Top marks all round.