The Night Before Signoff


A festive ditty, presented for your diversion in the anapestic tetrameter, with fond compliments of the season.

Twas the night before signoff, and all through the office,
Good folk were sat totting up losses and profits.
The spreadsheets were hung, to the board they were stuck,
In hopes that the numbers, like ducks, would line up.

The interns were nestled all snug at their desks,
Career aspirations aflame in their chests.
The boss in her pantsuit, and I in my shirt,
Were zoning, this meeting’s so long that it hurt.

When out, from the carpark, arose such a shock,
I sprang from my chair all like ‘mate, can you not?’
Away to reception I strutted like ‘who,
Is outside my gaff making hullabaloo?’

The feet of employees less festive than rushed,
Has turned last night’s snow into slurry and slush.
But who, through this maelstrom of grey should careen,
But a pack of creatives in t-shirts and jeans.

More boho and trendy than words can depict,
I knew in a moment they must be legit.
For a marketing meeting with gusto they came,
All experts in fields which they listed by name.

“Now Twitter! Now LinkedIn! Now Facebook and ‘Gram!
On, Squarespace! On, Wordpress! Video’s in the can!
Retweets for the timeline, and shares for the wall!
Now blog away, blog away, blog away, y’all!”

Security frisked all their satchels and bags,
While we waited for IDs and lanyards and tags.
Then up to the boardroom, undaunted we flew,
Muggins in his tie with the agency crew.

And then, with a slideshow, they spun us a tale,
How social drives buy-in, engagement and sales.
Creative solutions, they had by the ton,
Our brand can be awesome! Our brand can be fun!

Though dressed like a hipstery Shoreditch canteen,
Their marketing wisdom just had to be seen.
Reporting and measurement built in the plan,
To prove they weren’t peddling snake oil and sham.

Their eyes, how they twinkled, their craic was on-point,
But tastefully done, not a nose out of joint.
Even Carol and Sandra, the heads of HR,
Gave a ghost of a smile and a ‘har-de-har-har.’

What we had by the end was a strategy grand,
A revitalised business, a shiny new brand!
And vigorous now as they’d been when they started,
The agency folks tipped their hats and departed.

They sprang to the car, got the music on blare,
While I quietly praised their aesthetic and flair.
And I heard them exclaim, ‘ere they took to the wing,
“Baby Jesus is awesome… but content is king.”

Merry Christmas from all of us here at Sookio. Wishing you a terrific festive season, and a prosperous 2018!